Caramel apples, candy corn, and chocolate by the ton,
We'd finished only half the street but already felt
we'd won.
We needed second bags and a place to hide our stash;
Just one more bag and then we'd go find pumpkins we
could smash.
My friends snuck out their windows 'cause our moms
said we're too old.
"Hallow's Eve's for younger kids." At least so we were
told.
But I never hear the silly hag when she begins to
scold,
and I lied about some homework to get myself paroled.
I didn't have a costume, though I knew I needed one,
So I stole a knife, some red paint, and my mom's old
white apron.
Charlie had a plastic gun and a shirt with "Born to
Kill."
His dad's new hat and long black coat were enough for
cousin Bill.
Oh nasty little Tommy,
Whatever will you do?
When Momma sees her apron,
she'll whack your backside blue.
We were halfway up the next street, telling lies and
talking trash,
When Charlie took my knife and looked for tires that
he could slash.
My cousin hid from little kids then jumped out
screaming, "Boo!"
He was trying to steal their candy, but he didn't have
a clue.
I spied my little sister and I whispered, "What the
hell,"
And we hid behind some bushes 'cause we knew that she
would tell.
She always told our mom when I got a little rough,
like when I pinched or hit her or broke her precious
stuff.
She was laughing with her friend and dressed like some
princess
with a foil crown, a sparkly wand, and a frilly shiny
dress.
Her fat friend was a mermaid with a cardboard fish's
tail.
Cousin Bill made me laugh too loud when he said she
was a whale.
Oh nasty little Tommy,
What are you doing here?
When Momma hears about this,
She'll ground you for a year.
My prissy little sister could really be a pain.
Just because she got good grades, she thought she was
a brain.
Sometimes I would hit her just to make her cry.
Mom would always yell at me, but that's 'cause I'm a
guy.
"You keep your piehole shut," I warned, and waved
around my blade.
My sister might not tattle if I made her too afraid.
After all, I was the boy, which made me real tough;
and if I made her really scared, it just might be
enough.
Instead the two girls screamed and ran wah-wailing
down the street.
I knew when I got home tonight, I'd get my backside
beat.
"Gah I hate my sister! Why'd she have to be a girl?
The way my mom protects her always makes me want to
hurl."
Oh nasty little Tommy,
You've really done it now.
When Momma learns that you've been out,
She'll really have a cow.
"Dammit," Charlie whined, "Why'd you scare the little
bitch?
You know your mom calls my mom, and mine's a real
witch."
"So we get in trouble later. Quit your bellyache,"
Said cousin Bill, "That's hours away. Let's find
something to break."
"I still got paint," I laughed and showed my can of
spray.
"Let's mess up Widow Jones' house and really make her
day."
We had gotten plenty candy; it was time to play a
trick;
And my sister liked the widow, so the widow made me
sick.
The Widow Jones lived all alone in a mansion on the
hill,
And although it had been windy, up there it was quite
still.
I knew my friends were shaking; we all could feel the
dread.
But we were boys, as tough as noise, so the fear was
left unsaid.
Oh nasty little Tommy,
Do you really want to go?
If the widow sees you,
What she'll do you shouldn't know.
We were creeping to the mansion when the yard filled
up with light.
The Widow Jones stuck out her head and gave us quite a
fright.
"More trick or treaters? Wonderful!" she said with a
crafty grin.
"It's a little late, but not too late," and she calmly
asked us in.
"Let me get some candy," she said once inside the
door.
"I gave out what was out here, but I still have plenty
more.
And please don't touch those cookies in the bowl while
I am gone.
They came from my three daughters and can't be eaten
until dawn."
Of course I snatched some cookies while she was in the
back.
I moved the rest to hide the ones I dropped into my
sack.
Then she came back with some candy and gave us each a
share.
I played at being thankful, but I didn't really care.
Oh nasty little Tommy,
And your nasty little friends,
The Widow Jones just warned you,
And she never just pretends.
"So why can't those be eaten?" Charlie asked before we
left.
I tried to drag him out before the widow saw our
theft.
"Oh, they'll be safe and tasty once this sabboth night
is done,
but they'll grant too hasty wishes until they're
tickled by the sun."
I pulled extra hard on Charlie and said we had to
leave,
And I tried not to guffaw at what she thought kids
would believe;
She must think we were first-graders or is really so
naive
That she thought we'd swallow anything because it's
Hallow's Eve.
"So what now?" Charlie asked, "It's much too early to
go home.
If my mom finds I've been out, she'll do a tap dance
on my dome."
"Well we have these bags of goodies; let's just hang
around and eat.
Besides, we've walked all night and I have blisters on
my feet."
Oh nasty little Tommy,
I can't believe you'd dare.
The Widow Jones just warned you,
And you just don't seem to care.
"So who's up for some wishes?" and I searched inside
my bag.
I pulled out the three cookies that I'd snatched from
that old hag.
"Super powers or real cool cars? Or just get filthy
rich?
Or maybe fix my sister so that she doesn't snitch."
"I'd like to be a star in the neighborhood and school,
Have all the other guys think that we were super cool;
Maybe have the girls all stop treating us like dorks,"
Charlie laughed and whispered, "as if a magic cookie
works."
"I'd like to go to restaurants and never have to buy,
Have burgers piled before me, paid by some random guy.
And still lose all my belly fat," said husky cousin
Bill.
"Would be nice if it would happen, but we know it
never will."
Oh nasty little Tommy,
How can you be so dumb?
The Widow Jones has warned you,
Is your brain completely numb?
"I'd like to get away with stuff like my little sister
does.
My mom takes her side every time and it's only just
because
They're girls; they stick together, like the bitches
at our school,
Who yell at us for having fun and act like they're so
cool."
"But the cookies are all gone, and not a doggone thing
has changed.
It's just like I had figured, that old hag is way
deranged.
If cookies granted wishes, cousin Bill would be a
god."
Since Bill was sucking chocolate he could only give a
nod.
Bill's house was lonely dark with not a light on in
the place;
But through Charlie's window we could watch his mother
pace.
My house was brightly lit and my mom was on the porch;
and everywhere her eyes stopped left a nasty little
scorch.
Oh nasty little Tommy,
You're going to get it now.
Mom is really off the wall,
so you'll get it now, and how.
Mom didn't hit me once, though I stood to take my
licks,
And I still would not have cared if she had beaten me
with sticks.
The world was dull and sodden, and I couldn't hear the
music,
Just another Hallow's Eve completely without magic.
"You little rat," I hissed as I passed her on the
stairs.
Sis tried to plead she didn't tell, but I just
snarled, "Who Cares?"
Then I saw the half a cookie that she clutched tight
to her chest.
"You know your wish is hopeless even if you eat the
rest."
I pulled my covers high and pulled my knees up,
feeling bad.
I sort of liked my sister, but I always made her sad.
I needed one do-over, I needed a reprieve,
And I fell asleep believing: I believe. I believe.
Oh darling sister Tammy,
I prayed that you'd be here.
I prayed and cried, and cried, and hoped
and hoped that you'd be near.
My twin is minutes older, she is Lil' Sis no more.
But, hey, we're having fun with dolls and pillows on
the floor.
And when the doorbell buzzes, we both decide to go
To let in grinning Charlye and my cousin Billie Jo.
Oh darling sister Tammy,
We're going to have such fun.
But Billie Jo, you're getting round.
You'd best put down that bun.
"Then maybe just some eggs," said the pudgy Billie Jo.
"You've got some sausage, here's some cheese, and wow,
cookie dough!
My mom won't let me eat at home, just some leaves and
stuff."
"You're going on a diet," said sis, "for now you've
had enough."
My sister said this firmly with one hand upon her hip,
And I marveled at her stern display of friendly
leadership.
If you'd asked 'bout this just yesterday, I doubt that
I'd believe
All the things that I was learning because of Hallow's
Eve.
And Charlye, you ol' bookworm,
What's that hiding in your purse?
I bet it's some old French book
Or some obscene Latin verse.
"It's Sartre," Charlye grinned. "I can't believe him
any more.
At least not since this morning when I closed the
bathroom door.
And yes, before you ask, I'm quite okay with that.
And Billie Jo, put down that cake. You're going to get
fat."
"Oooh pooh," snarled Billie Jo. She even stamped her
feet.
But she put away the cake, which seemed a herculean
feat.
"You know, my mom was home today when I got out of
bed.
She even knew my name and stuff." My cousin scratched
her head.
"You know," my cousin waved her hands, "I guess I'm
kinda glad.
It will take some getting used to, since my mom had
been my dad.
But I really cannot see a life of lettuce leaves on
ice.
This whole thing about a diet makes me think about
this twice."
I thought about the girls I knew, and it made my
vision glaze:
Their diets, their shoes, their underwear. I thought
about "those" days.
'Oh lord, what have I done?' I thought, 'What am I
going to do?
What kind of scary mess had I gotten us into?'
Then Mom walked in the kitchen in her slippers and her
robe,
Looked around for coffee, made her morning joke 'bout
Job,
Then asked what we'd be wearing for trick or treat
tonight,
If we'd be dressing pretty, or if we'd try for fright.
"Mom," I said, "That's yesterday." My twin sister
bobbed her head.
"Well, I just finished both your gowns. I just put
them on your bed.
I know I worked real late last week, but I know what
day's today."
Then Mom spilled her morning coffee, and she shooed us
all away.
We dashed up to our room and got wedged inside the
door;
The door was made for only one, and we were trying for
four.
But we squealed and squeezed till we popped through in
a pile upon the floor.
Two gowns were spread upon our bed. I couldn't take
this anymore.
I knew it was a princess gown, but it seemed a wedding
dress,
And the progress I had made that morn was beginning to
regress.
Would I have to kiss a boy? The idea brought me much
distress.
Skinny girlhood was no problem; what I feared was my
"broad"-ness.
Oh dearest sister Tammy,
Why do you look so pale?
Are you feeling sick or nauseous?
Do you want some ginger ale?
"I'm fine," I lied but inside knew I'd made a big
mistake.
There's no way I could do this, and my knees began to
shake.
Our school had a uniform, with knee-highs and a skirt,
And first I'd need clean panties and a lace-trimmed
undershirt.
Then I had to comb my hair, tie it in some twisted
way,
Take care of other "mysteries," and to do this every
day
And even several times a day, like some stupid girls'
ballet:
Watch your skirt, your turn, your run, your... No Way!
"It's still a school day," Mom called up, "although
it's Hallow's Eve.
If you want to catch your bus, you better get dressed
quick and leave."
I stared at the school skirt so hard I went into a
trance.
If I had to go to school, why could I not do it in
pants?
"We've gained a day," said Charlye, "It must be from
the spell.
Or else this day repeats like some old horror movie
hell
And we'll live in Hallow's Eve until the dreary end of
days.
I think we better learn the rules that this magic
spell obeys."
Charlye's our philosopher, a real know it all,
So if someone knew, she knew, and we would just go
with her call.
"But that means that during trick or treat we see the
Widow Jones
And hope that she's not angry and doesn't cook us skin
and bones."
I knew I had to see her and say sorry for my theft
And explain we ate those cookies just as soon as we
had left
Her creepy mansion on a night that maybe hadn't
happened yet.
I hoped she'd understand and that she wouldn't be
upset.
We were waiting for the schoolbus, and the cold wind
really hurt,
When a nasty little brat, for fun, went and flipped my
skirt!
I turned real fast, balled my fist, and punched the
little squirrel.
But he just laughed and sassed right back, "You hit
just like a girl."
So cousin Billie Jo kicked him hard behind his knees,
And Charlye pushed him backward into several thorny
trees.
But he got back up, really mad, and pulled a tiny
blade,
And suddenly, though I shouldn't be, I felt really
afraid.
A bigger boy ran up and grabbed the dirtbag by the
neck.
He punched him in the belly, then really gave him
heck.
Then he turned and said he'd ride with us to make sure
we stayed safe.
When he did, I felt real funny and my clothes began to
chafe.
He sat beside me on the bus and my heart began to
thud,
And I couldn't stop from thinking that he was a real
stud.
I was horrified to hear myself ask him for a hug,
But I still was shaking badly, and his chest looked
really snug.
Oh darling sister Tammy,
Girls really shouldn't fight.
But it got you a cute boyfriend
so I guess it's quite alright.
A boyfriend! No! And sis had said it really loud.
But I stole a look to see him smile, and I actually
felt proud.
I even snuggled closer and put my fingers in his hair.
I watched my boyhood slip away and didn't even care.
That whole school day became for me a warm and fuzzy
dream.
I kept dreaming 'bout this boyfriend, and my dreams
were quite extreme.
He was the handsome hero; I was the girl rescued.
And the things I dreamed that followed were really
very crude.
And yes, I kept looking for him all throughout my
lunch.
But I sat with all the other girls; we really were a
bunch.
All these girls who days before did not know that I
exist
were squealing, laughing, digging deep to find if I
had kissed.
He sat with me on the ride home; he said his name was
Doug,
And I tried to think of some cute way to steal another
hug.
I felt new things in brand new spots, sitting with
this handsome lug,
And I knew I shouldn't feel that, but it was like a
drug.
Oh darling sister Tammy,
You shouldn't move so fast.
Boys are weird; if you're too quick,
Their love will never last.
The whole walk home I listened as my friends and
sister teased;
But I didn't feel bad at all, they could say just what
they pleased.
But when we finally reached my door, I thought about
the witch
And my skin began to crawl and I felt my insides itch.
Sis and I were dressed before the others could arrive,
And I tried to tell my stomach that this was not my
first sky dive.
We'd see the witch, get all this fixed, and maybe all
survive.
I'd confess to stealing her cookies and hope to stay
alive.
Charlye was a warrior queen with a plastic skirt and
sword.
My cousin was a mermaid with a fish tail of cardboard.
Sis and I were princesses in gowns of shiny white.
My stomach turned again. It would be a real long
night.
"Let's get some candy first," said our pudgy Billie
Jo.
She wasn't very hungry, but she didn't want to go
To see the Widow Jones. Billie was too scared.
So we all had to drag her while we tried to be
prepared.
The Widow Jones was laughing as she opened up her
door.
"Oh dearies, I just knew you'd come," and she ushered
in us four.
"There's someone that you have to meet; she's in my
sitting room."
I guessed it was her daughter with her cookies and her
broom.
Instead there was a gorgeous girl maybe just out of
her teens
wearing a bright-pink T-shirt and skin-tight designer
jeans.
"Hi, I'm Cissy," she smiled as she petted a black
cat,
"And I bet you expected me in black with a pointed
witch's hat."
"First," I said in a tiny voice, "I need to apologize.
It was me who stole your cookies." Sudden tears leaked
from my eyes.
"There, there," the widow held me. "Child, don't you
fret.
Remember, that happened later, so you didn't steal
them yet."
"There, there," and Cissy hugged me, "Let's dry those
frightened tears.
"There is no need to be worried, not a reason for your
fears.
Those cookies are not evil; they just give a second
chance.
It's up to you to cancel this or else to join our
dance."
The widow held out her bowl. "Just one for each of
you.
Now hold your cookie tightly while I tell you what to
do.
If you want things just the way they were, just eat
them after dawn.
But if you do, the magic spell will be forever gone.
"But all four of you must do the same, all of you must
agree.
It will not work with one or two, not even with just
three.
But if you like things as they are now, just eat them
here with me.
But please, whatever you decide, don't eat them
separately."
Oh darling sister Tammy,
I'm sorry for what I've done.
My wish made you a younger girl.
I was the selfish one.
I looked at grinning Charlye, who had never smiled
before,
And my happy cousin Billie Jo, whose foot tapped on
the floor.
Then I looked back at the widow and I gave myself a
squeeze
And asked, "By any chance, would you have milk to go
with these?"
The Widow Jones lived all alone in a mansion on the
hill,
And although it had been windy, up there it was quite
still.
But my friends and sis and I think the widow is quite
nice,
And we visit at least once a week, and often we go
twice.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Rebekkah
